just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
