another moral hangover. fuck.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you made out with another girl for some wings
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
