You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sorry about my life...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
