So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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