franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
