I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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