I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
