I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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