I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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