hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
