Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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