just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
