I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
