Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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