So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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