for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
