This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
