chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
