im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
