he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I smell like Dick and happiness
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
