Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
