It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
