I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
