Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
