Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
