is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
