Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
