I wanna bring you to show and tell
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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