is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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