I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
