I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize