Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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