I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
