Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
