omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
