I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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