This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize