she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
