i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize