I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
