Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We need a shit load of segways right now
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
he's single and there are thong briefs.
send nudes
from the living room?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
