Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
