I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
