like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize