Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We have so much sex to catch up on
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
