My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I know her cup size but not her name....
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