I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
