I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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