Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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