Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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