He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
