dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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