So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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