you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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