But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
