plz talk dirty to me
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
