first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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