Buhtt sex?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
