maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize