Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
